The long-awaited update! ;-)
So at the beginning of April I shared my (mournful) thoughts and experiences weaning Emma. She was weaning herself, not needing me as often, and I felt so sad about it! Well, it was a mixture of feelings actually – bittersweet sadness, frustration, and a little bit of confusion at the way I felt. I thought I was supposed to feel nothing but RELIEF! But that was not the case.
About a week after that post, Emma started teething (again) big time. Her top teeth are coming in and she is NOT enjoying the process. But that’s another story. ;-) The teething changed things for her for awhile and suddenly she wanted to nurse more often. So now we’re somewhere between nursing once a day (at night usually) and nursing up to three times a day (when she’s having a particularly hard time with her teeth). So we are in the process of weaning still, but once in awhile she comfort nurses. I really think this makes the transition much easier on both of us. And every time I nurse her, I look down at the little girl who is still a baby, still not quite a year old yet, and wonder if this is the last time. A little part of me is sad, but another part of me is excited for the future. Because this means that there will be new stages – running, talking, helping me in the kitchen, learning… there will be other joyful moments.
This morning before I was completely awake, I went through my usual morning routine. I took her out of her crib, stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed a graham cracker to give her, and gave her her morning sippy cup full of rice milk. I sat her down on the floor in the living room with her “breakfast” and sat on the couch to plan my day. I wondered if my husband would make coffee (oh please!). Emma took one look at the cracker and threw it down on the floor (the reason I have to vacuum every day). Then she turned around, pulled herself up to stand at the couch in front of me, and gave me the most pitiful look ever. I offered her the rice milk in her cup and she pushed it away, giving me the same tortured expression. As soon as I realized she wanted to nurse, I felt a rush of… something… relief and happiness. I was glad she wanted to nurse, that she still needed me. I’m going to enjoy these last nursing moments, because pretty soon she’ll be ready to stop being a baby that way. Definitely bittersweet.
I’m glad I’m able to recognize these moments and enjoy them. I thank God for that – that I’m able to work at home and that I can be with my baby full-time. I wish every mom could be! And even if she can’t be home full-time, I hope every mom can slow down for a moment and look down at their child in wonder, and remember that time is going to pass so quickly… but they can enjoy the time they have right now.
Share Your Thoughts:
I would love to know how you felt when you were weaning! I have been around people who were nothing but relieved (or so they would lead me to think), and heard from others who felt the same
bittersweetness that I do. Guess I’m sentimental. :-)