So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been a Bad Friend To Us by Beth Moore
Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. (February 2, 2010)
Retail price: $24.99
Yay for another wonderful Beth Moore book! I truly love Beth Moore – she’s someone that I respect because of her approach in ministering to women all over the world. She is so real. She isn’t some woman up on a podium looking down at all of us peons, us lesser-women. (I’m laughing.) She has been through some tough times in life and isn’t afraid to be real about it. I’m sorry she has been through what she has, but she is really an inspiration when it comes to taking the hardships you’ve been through and using that experience and pain to help and encourage others.
On top of all of this, she is a definite Jesus-lover. She isn’t wishy-washy at all. I’ve done many of her bible studies in the past (she usually picks a person in the bible like John or Jesus and does a deep study that is a real blessing to the person who follows along) and absolutely love them. I like the workbooks the best because they are interactive and I learn best that way.
Anyway – I know I’m going on here, but I wanted you to know that Beth Moore is an amazing author and someone worth reading – even if you feel that there are already too many Christian self-help or bible studies out there, check Beth Moore out! Her books are different, I assure you. She’s pretty much one of the only authors I will follow faithfully because of her fresh and real approach.
My Thoughts on So Long, Insecurity:
She’s done it again – astounded me with her gentle woman-to-woman approach on a topic we all want to discuss but just don’t. I kind of wish they had included her introduction in the excerpt below, but since they didn’t I think I’ll share a part of it here so you can see what was in her heart when she wrote the book:
Well, I suppose what you hold in your hands is the closest I’ll ever come to an autobiography. My entire life story grows like a wild shoot from the thorny soil of insecurity. Every fear I’ve ever faced, every addiction I’ve nursed, every disastrous relationship and idiotic decision I’ve made has wormed its way out of that sorrowfully fertile ground. Through the power and grace of God, I’ve dealt with so many side effects of it, but oddly, until now, I’ve somehow overlooked its primary source.
Beth goes on to tell us that we aren’t alone – any other woman you’re looking at is surely dealing with some sort of insecurity on some level. She also shares that we shouldn’t ignore insecurity or hope it goes away. We need to face it and deal with it, “let the truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us.”
Risk it from the first page to the last, and if you honestly get to the end without an ounce of insight or encouragement, I’ll pack up my books and go home. My hope is that you come out with something infinitely greater, however. I want nothing less than for you to close this book secure.
Throughout the book, Beth goes through reasons we might be insecure, what insecurity can do to us, and the best way to tackle those insecurities with scriptural truths and biblical examples (Ruth, for instance). I found the book very encouraging and a blessing – so don’t pack up those books and go home, Beth! :-) This is a must-read!
Over the past decade, Beth Moore has become an internationally known and respected Bible teacher, teaching over 250,000 women annually in Living Proof Live Conferences and regularly sharing God’s Word with an interdenominational community at her church in Houston; teaching the Bible on the nationally syndicated Life Today with James Robison; and through her best-selling books and Living Proof radio program.
Visit the author’s website.
AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:
Mad Enough to Change
I’m seriously ticked. And I need to do something about it. Some people eat when they’re about to rupture with emotion. Others throw up. Or jog. Or go to bed. Some have a holy fit. Others stuff it and try to forget it. I can do all those things in sequential order, but I still don’t find relief.
When my soul is inflating until my skin feels like a balloon about to pop, I write. Never longhand, if I can help it. The more emotion I feel, the more I appreciate banging on the keys of a computer. I type by faith and not by sight. My keyboard can attest to the fact that I am a passionate person with an obsession for words: most of the vowels are worn off. The word ticked really should have more vowels. Maybe what I am is peeved. That’s a good one. How about irrationally irritated to oblivion? Let that one wear the vowels off a keyboard.
The thing is, I’m not even sure exactly who I’m ticked at. I’m hoping to find that out as I hack away at these chapters. One thing is for certain. Once I figure it out, I probably won’t keep it to myself. After all, you know how the saying goes: hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And I’m feeling scorned.
But not just for myself. I’m feeling ticked for the whole mess of us born with a pair of X chromosomes. My whole ministry life is lived out in the blessed chaos of a female cornucopia. I’ve been looking at our gender through the lens of Scripture for twenty-five solid years, and I have pondered over us, taken up for us, laid into us, deliberated over us, prayed about us, lost sleep because of us, cried for us, laughed my head off at us, and gotten offended for us—and by us—more times than I can count. And after a quarter of a century surrounded by girls ranging all the way from kindergarteners to those resting on pale pink liners inside caskets, I’ve come to this loving conclusion: we need help. I need help. Something more than what we’re getting.
The woman I passed a few days ago on the freeway who was bawling her eyes out at the steering wheel of her Nissan needs help. The girl lying about her age in order to get a job in a topless bar needs help. The divorcée who has loathed herself into fifty extra pounds needs help. For crying out loud, that female rock star I’ve disdained for years needs help. When I read something demeaning her ex said about her recently—something I know would cut any female to the quick—I jumped to her defense like a jackal on a field mouse and seriously wondered how I could contact her agent and offer to mentor her in Bible study.
Several days ago I sat in a tearoom across the table from a gorgeous woman I love dearly. She has been married for three months, and they did all the right things leading up to that sacred ceremony, heightening the anticipation considerably. After an hour or so of musing over marriage, she said to me, “Last weekend he seemed disinterested in me. I’ll be honest with you. It kind of shook me up. I wanted to ask him, ‘So, are you over me now? That quick? That’s it?’”
I’m pretty certain her husband will perk back up, but what a tragedy that she feels like she possesses the shelf life of a video game.
I flashed back to another recent communication with a magazine-cover-beautiful thirty-year-old woman who mentioned—almost in passing—that she has to dress up in costumes in order for her husband to want to make love to her. I’m not knocking her pink-feathered heels, but I wonder if she is paying too much for them. I’m just sad that she can’t feel desirable as herself.
Then yesterday I learned that a darling fifteen-year-old I keep in touch with slept with her boyfriend in a last-ditch effort to hold on to him. He broke up with her anyway. Then he told. It’s all over her high school now.
I’ve got a loved one going through her third divorce. She wants to find a good man in the worst way, and goodness knows they’re out there. The problem is, she keeps marrying the same kind of man.
I’m so ticked.
If these examples were exceptions to the rule, I wouldn’t bother writing, but you and I both know better than that. I hear echoes of fear and desperation from women day in and day out—even if they’re doing their best to muffle the sound with their Coach bags. Oh, who am I kidding? I hear reverberations from my own heart more times than I want to admit. I keep trying to stifle it, but it won’t shut up. Something’s wrong with us for us to value ourselves so little. Our culture has thrown us under the bus. We have a fissure down the spine of our souls and, boy, does it need fixing.
This morning while I was getting ready for church, my cell phone nearly vibrated off the bathroom counter with six incoming texts from a single friend who was having a crisis of heart. I answered her with what little I had to give, even as I grappled with my own issues. I decided that what I needed was a good sermon to keep me from crying off my eyeliner, so I flipped on the television to a terrific local preacher. Lo and behold, the sermon was about what a woman needs from a man.
Actually, it was a great message if anyone had a mind to do what he was recommending, but knowing human nature and feeling uncharacteristically cynical, I could feel my frustration mounting. The preacher had done his homework. He offered half a dozen Scripture-based PowerPoint slides with state-of-the-art graphics describing what men should do for women. “Women want to be told that they are captivating. That they’re beautiful. Desirable.”
I won’t deny that. What woman wouldn’t thrive under that kind of steady affirmation?
But here’s my question: What if no one tells us that? Can we still find a way to be okay? Or what if he says it because he’s supposed to, but to be honest, he’s not feeling it? Are we hopeless? What if a man is not captivated by us? What if he doesn’t think we’re particularly beautiful? Or, understandably, maybe just not every day? Are we only secure on his “on” days? What if he loves us but is not quite as captivated by us as he used to be? What if his computer is full of images of what he finds attractive, and we’re light-years from it? What if we’re seventy-five, and every ounce of desirability is long behind us? Can we still feel adequate in our media-driven society?
Adapted from So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. Copyright © 2010 by Beth Moore. Used with permission from Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.
This was a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review. If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old…or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!
***Special thanks to Vicky Lynch of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. for sending me a review copy.***