It’s crazy how much my life has changed in a little over four months. It has been a slow process but the kids and I are now in a little home in the country and a new life has begun. Not only are we on our own now, we have also completely changed our lifestyle. I am SO happy with this change – I’m not a city girl, so it feels kind of like coming home. And for the kids, it’s heaven! We are on a little over an acre that is completely fenced, everything my eyes can see around me is beauty and nature, no more sounds of cars whooshing by or fire trucks waking me up at midnight. This place is a blessing. It has been a wonderful home to heal in so far.
I know that the end of a marriage is a sad thing, but this last few months my eyes have really been opened to… truth. Reality. I can’t really go into detail here, but I can tell you that God’s presence and faithfulness through this time have been incredible. He has really grown my faith through this. It’s the scariest, most heartbreaking trial I have ever been through and one I didn’t think I could ever survive, but I am apparently stronger than I believed myself to be – with God as my Rock. :)
Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage;
be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.
– Joshua 1:9
Do you know when faith is tested? When you lose control. I had to ask myself some tough questions. One of them was, “Are you going to trust God when He doesn’t answer your prayers the way you thought He should or would?” The answer was yes. He showed me that He knew better than I did what was good for me and my kids.
And they that know your name will put their trust in you:
for you, LORD, have not forsaken them that seek you.
– Psalm 9:10
He is able. He is faithful, He is trustworthy. He has brought me out of darkness and although it’s not totally over yet, He has more than shown that He will take care of me and my little family. And I am so grateful for that! I hope I can be an encouragement for others who are going through unforeseen trials like this. You will get through it. It won’t be easy, but take one step at a time and keep your eyes on Jesus and your mind on his promises for you.
It took a little while, but I have hope again. I can’t wait to see what God has planned for us. :) In the meantime, we are adjusting to our new place (we’ve been here about two weeks) and a new routine.